When what others think derails you
Monday May 03 2021
By SERAPHINE RULIGIRWA-KAMARA
- What you want to do is to stop worrying about what others think about you. It is how you gain the ability to look inward, accept yourself for who you are.
There are highly capable people. They are great writers, have amazing presentation skills or can turn an idea into a viable project in a heartbeat but simply will not do it to save their lives.
They talk about these capabilities, but will not showcase their impressive strengths in front of the opportunities that could be the game-changers that they seek.
Some of them do little more than talk, others make half-hearted attempts at putting themselves in the spotlight. They are in their own way by finding any and all excuses to procrastinate until the opportunities pass by. We are left wondering why it is that they can’t see in themselves what we clearly see in them: great potential for success.
These are individuals who have their hearts in the right place. They easily attract new jobs or business opportunities but just can’t seem to have the staying power that’s required to truly reap from them.
They tend to leave lots of projects unfinished because their excitement and commitment wanes shortly after starting. They don’t finish books, and courses that they enrol into. They religiously write their new year resolutions and give up on them by this time every year without fail.
The single most common concern for them is that they might fail, so they shortchange themselves of potential success because they stop before they fail.
Does this sound eerily familiar? The truth is that all of us experience a strong fear of failure. You want to free yourself from self-sabotaging habits like procrastination so you can get more done on any given day at work as well as at home. Understand failure for the necessary step towards success that it is.
Get a coach or accountability partner to help you follow through with everything you do in the various aspects of your achievement goals, whether it is to plunge into business by the end of the year or make plans to retire by 50 years of age. You want to set milestones and monitor them -no more abandoning projects halfway.
Before we make that a commitment, let’s delve a little deeper into what really holds you back because while you might be well aware that you’re an intelligent, talented and likable person, you secretly worry about what others think about you.
On occasion, you find yourself going out of your way to please others, bending over backwards to do unnecessary favours for them, just so that they like you more than you think that they do. Even when they show you otherwise, you don’t believe them.
You can’t even accept sincere compliments without fighting back the tendency to brush them away. You’re afraid to push for more money at work, because you’re afraid that your value may not withstand putting any pressure on your employer know you as a smart and capable person, but you spend copious amounts of time doubting whether you have what it takes to be wildly successful.
You wonder if you are really worthy of recognition, appreciation and wild success.
What you want to do is to stop worrying about what others think about you. It is how you gain the ability to look inward, accept yourself for who you are.
It is how you stop trying to change and risk losing yourself in the image that you think that others expect of you. You want to become more aware not just of who you are, but of your infinite potential and how you can achieve it.
You want to actively put yourself in a state of optimal flow, where you’re confident, driven and successful.
Ruligirwa-Kamara is Executive Coach Corporate Image Consultant, Institute of Ultimate Potential, Canada